Freddie Phillips:
It's a booby trap.
Casey Edwards: For what?
Freddie Phillips: For boobs.
--Lou Costello (as Freddie Phillips) in Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff
Casey Edwards: For what?
Freddie Phillips: For boobs.
--Lou Costello (as Freddie Phillips) in Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff
Harvey Garvey:
Do I have to especially go now?
Peter Johnson: You just split an infinitive!
Harvey Garvey: Well, I mean that...
[feeling his own rear end]
Harvey Garvey: Does it show?
--Lou Costello (as Harvey Garvey) in Lost in a Harem
Peter Johnson: You just split an infinitive!
Harvey Garvey: Well, I mean that...
[feeling his own rear end]
Harvey Garvey: Does it show?
--Lou Costello (as Harvey Garvey) in Lost in a Harem
Harvey Garvey:
Have you a reservation here?
Jailer and clerk: No.
Harvey Garvey: Then I have to take my business someplace else.
[he starts to leave but is restrained by guards]
Harvey Garvey: I changed my mind. I'll take the room.
Jailer and clerk: What's your name?
Harvey Garvey: Harvey D. Garvey.
Jailer and clerk: Where born?
Harvey Garvey: Under a sink.
Jailer and clerk: How do you know?
Harvey Garvey: I heard the water runnin'.
--Lou Costello (as Harvey Garvey) in Lost in a Harem
Jailer and clerk: No.
Harvey Garvey: Then I have to take my business someplace else.
[he starts to leave but is restrained by guards]
Harvey Garvey: I changed my mind. I'll take the room.
Jailer and clerk: What's your name?
Harvey Garvey: Harvey D. Garvey.
Jailer and clerk: Where born?
Harvey Garvey: Under a sink.
Jailer and clerk: How do you know?
Harvey Garvey: I heard the water runnin'.
--Lou Costello (as Harvey Garvey) in Lost in a Harem
Herbie Brown:
[explaining their situation with Evie] We've been like a mama and a papa to her.
Slicker Smith: Leave me out of this.
Herbie Brown: Okay, Papa.
--Lou Costello (as Herbie Brown) in Buck Privates Come Home
Slicker Smith: Leave me out of this.
Herbie Brown: Okay, Papa.
--Lou Costello (as Herbie Brown) in Buck Privates Come Home
Horatio Prim:
[after seeing Emily for the first time] Zounds! What well did she come out of?
--Lou Costello (as Horatio Prim) in The Time of Their Lives
--Lou Costello (as Horatio Prim) in The Time of Their Lives
Horatio Prim:
[he and Melody collide and are wearing each other's clothes] Odds bodkins, we're all mixed up!
[they run into each other again and get back into their own clothes]
Horatio Prim: Melody, don't ever do that again, I'm a boy!
--Lou Costello (as Horatio Prim) in The Time of Their Lives
[they run into each other again and get back into their own clothes]
Horatio Prim: Melody, don't ever do that again, I'm a boy!
--Lou Costello (as Horatio Prim) in The Time of Their Lives
Horatio Prim:
[Horatio and Nora are laying in the hay, Nora kisses him, he gasps and stutters] Nora!
Nora O'Leary: Oh Horatio, do my kisses thrill you that much?
Horatio Prim: I'm sitting on a pitchfork!
--Lou Costello (as Horatio Prim) in The Time of Their Lives
Nora O'Leary: Oh Horatio, do my kisses thrill you that much?
Horatio Prim: I'm sitting on a pitchfork!
--Lou Costello (as Horatio Prim) in The Time of Their Lives
Horatio Prim:
Cuthbert, Melody, it's Cuthbert! He's still alive!
Melody Allen: How can that be?
Horatio Prim: I don't know, they say only the good die young.
--Lou Costello (as Horatio Prim) in The Time of Their Lives
Melody Allen: How can that be?
Horatio Prim: I don't know, they say only the good die young.
--Lou Costello (as Horatio Prim) in The Time of Their Lives
Horatio Prim:
I don't want those people coming around here saying,
[singing]
Horatio Prim: Here lie the dirty traitors! Here lie the dirty traitors!
[crying]
Horatio Prim: Here lie the dirty traitors.
--Lou Costello (as Horatio Prim) in The Time of Their Lives
[singing]
Horatio Prim: Here lie the dirty traitors! Here lie the dirty traitors!
[crying]
Horatio Prim: Here lie the dirty traitors.
--Lou Costello (as Horatio Prim) in The Time of Their Lives
Jack:
[singing] I fear nothing when I am in the right / Whoever pushes me around will find me full of fight.
--Lou Costello (as Jack / Jack Strong) in Jack and the Beanstalk
--Lou Costello (as Jack / Jack Strong) in Jack and the Beanstalk
