Abercrombie:
A face like mine is hard to forget.
Buzz Kurtis: How do you know?
Abercrombie: I've been tryin' for years!
--Lou Costello (as Abercrombie) in Abbott and Costello in Hollywood
Buzz Kurtis: How do you know?
Abercrombie: I've been tryin' for years!
--Lou Costello (as Abercrombie) in Abbott and Costello in Hollywood
Abercrombie:
I gotta break the date.
Ruthie: What date?
Abercrombie: Don't you remember? June 22nd?
Ruthie: June 22nd? I don't remwember anything about a date.
Abercrombie: Oh, yes. Don't you remember? I said I was gonna take you to the Palladium a long time ago, and you said, 'See me next year.' Well, tonight the year is up.
--Lou Costello (as Abercrombie) in Abbott and Costello in Hollywood
Ruthie: What date?
Abercrombie: Don't you remember? June 22nd?
Ruthie: June 22nd? I don't remwember anything about a date.
Abercrombie: Oh, yes. Don't you remember? I said I was gonna take you to the Palladium a long time ago, and you said, 'See me next year.' Well, tonight the year is up.
--Lou Costello (as Abercrombie) in Abbott and Costello in Hollywood
Albert Mansfield:
Lady, he ain't dead, he's hiding!
--Lou Costello (as Albert Mansfield) in In Society
--Lou Costello (as Albert Mansfield) in In Society
Benny Miller:
Do you mind if I have a piece of candy while I wait on you?
Hazel Temple Morrison: Aren't you worried you're going to wear your teeth down to the bones?
Benny Miller: What?
Hazel Temple Morrison: You ate three packages of cracker jacks, two bags of peanuts, one of those red gooey apples on a stick, and three chocolate malked milkshakes.
Benny Miller: And don't forget the banana split, with a lot of fruit on it!
--Lou Costello (as Benny Miller) in Little Giant
Hazel Temple Morrison: Aren't you worried you're going to wear your teeth down to the bones?
Benny Miller: What?
Hazel Temple Morrison: You ate three packages of cracker jacks, two bags of peanuts, one of those red gooey apples on a stick, and three chocolate malked milkshakes.
Benny Miller: And don't forget the banana split, with a lot of fruit on it!
--Lou Costello (as Benny Miller) in Little Giant
Chester Wooley:
Marriage is a three ring circus: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and suffering.
--Lou Costello (as Chester Wooley) in The Wistful Widow of Wagon Gap
--Lou Costello (as Chester Wooley) in The Wistful Widow of Wagon Gap
Chester Wooley:
That wild goose chase of yours is going to lay an egg.
--Lou Costello (as Chester Wooley) in The Wistful Widow of Wagon Gap
--Lou Costello (as Chester Wooley) in The Wistful Widow of Wagon Gap
Costello:
He's gonna make a wonderful husband.
Abbott: You don't even know what a husband is.
Costello: A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed.
--Lou Costello (as Costello) in One Night in the Tropics
Abbott: You don't even know what a husband is.
Costello: A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed.
--Lou Costello (as Costello) in One Night in the Tropics
Freddie Phillips:
[upon escaping a steambox] I saw a hand turn around the corner, and he put on a lot of steam, all the steam he could put on, f-full force... I think somebody's trying to kill me.
--Lou Costello (as Freddie Phillips) in Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff
--Lou Costello (as Freddie Phillips) in Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff
Freddie Phillips:
Ain't I a lucky stiff? Lucky stiff? I should've never left Paterson.
--Lou Costello (as Freddie Phillips) in Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff
--Lou Costello (as Freddie Phillips) in Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff
Freddie Phillips:
I have a confession to make.
Angela Gordon: You did it?
Freddie Phillips: No, I mean that stuff
[champagne]
Freddie Phillips: I don't drink that stuff, that's like drinking poison.
Angela Gordon: Oh come on...
Freddie Phillips: Oh stop it, the bubbles' is tickling my nose.
Angela Gordon: For little Angela...
Freddie Phillips: I wouldn't drink it for big Angela.
--Lou Costello (as Freddie Phillips) in Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff
Angela Gordon: You did it?
Freddie Phillips: No, I mean that stuff
[champagne]
Freddie Phillips: I don't drink that stuff, that's like drinking poison.
Angela Gordon: Oh come on...
Freddie Phillips: Oh stop it, the bubbles' is tickling my nose.
Angela Gordon: For little Angela...
Freddie Phillips: I wouldn't drink it for big Angela.
--Lou Costello (as Freddie Phillips) in Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff
