Senator Billboard Rawkins: [dictating a speech to Buzz] Gentlemen, the festering tides of radicalism are upon us. But before I yield up our glorious South -and her sister commowealth, the U.S. of A - I will lay down my life. I will do more - I will filibuster. Back, you crackpots! Forward, America! Forward to the hallowed principles of our forefathers. Forward to the sweet tranquility of the status quo. Forward... to yesterday!


--Keenan Wynn (as Senator Billboard Rawkins) in Finian's Rainbow

Senator Billboard Rawkins: My family's been having nothing but trouble with immigrants ever since they come to this country!


--Keenan Wynn (as Senator Billboard Rawkins) in Finian's Rainbow

Senator Billboard Rawkins: You've been violating the law, here.
Finian McLonergan: Since when?
Senator Billboard Rawkins: This afternoon. I just finished drafting this.
Senator Billboard Rawkins: [reading] Local ordinance number 7428: be it known that in the county of Rainbow Valley, it is a felony for members of the Caucasian and Negro races...
Finian McLonergan: But it seems to me that this law could not be a legal law...
Senator Billboard Rawkins: Of course it's legal! I don't know where you immigrants get these radical, foreign ideas!
Sharon McLonergan: From a wee book the immigration officer handed us. It's called 'The United States Constitution.'
Finian McLonergan: Haven't you read it?
Senator Billboard Rawkins: I don't have time to read it, I'm too busy defending it!


--Keenan Wynn (as Senator Billboard Rawkins) in Finian's Rainbow

The Drunk: You are the most maddening lady creature I've ever been able to come in contact with. Let me take you out of all this.


--Keenan Wynn (as The Drunk) in The Clock

[After Jennifer Griggs and her boyfriend are soaked by rain, Jennifer quickly exchanges her wet dress for a provocative blanket]
Ben Griggs: What does she do?
Sam Griggs: She's a librarian.
Ben Griggs: Must read a lot.


--Keenan Wynn (as Ben Griggs) in The Cockeyed Miracle

[Sam the ghost walks through his first wall]
Sam Griggs: Look, Pa, no hands!
Ben Griggs: Just as easy as I used to go through a week's pay.


--Keenan Wynn (as Ben Griggs) in The Cockeyed Miracle

[the fire crew has arrived to rescue Alonzo Hawk, who is now bouncing out of control]
Fire Chief: [shouting through megaphone] Mr. Hawk! This is the Fire Chief speaking! We'll have everything under control in just a moment. Now Mr. Hawk, try to relax.
Alonzo P. Hawk: Relax? How can I relax, you fat-head?


--Keenan Wynn (as Alonzo P. Hawk) in The Absent-Minded Professor

[Two ghosts argue about the family finances]
Sam Griggs: All you left Ma and me was a fifteen-dollar saloon bill.
Ben Griggs: I'll thank you to treat you father with more respect.


--Keenan Wynn (as Ben Griggs) in The Cockeyed Miracle