Frank Benson:
[meeting Poe for the first time in church] I'm in real estate.
Oliver Poe: But not deep enough. I have a horrible feeling we've met before. Does 7719 Hillside Drive mean anything to you?
Frank Benson: Isn't that a three bedroom, hillside colonial with patio, wet bar, and over-sized bay window? Nothing personal.
Oliver Poe: Tee-hee. You forgot to mention the hill in the back and the guaranteed retaining wall.
Frank Benson: Yeah, well... I sell so many, I forget the details.
Oliver Poe: Twenty thousand tons of mud in a swimming isn't exactly a detail!
[grabs Benson's arm]
Oliver Poe: The house was on a hill until it rained then the hill was on the house.
[shouts]
Oliver Poe: That was twenty years ago and they're still digging to find the backyard.
Frank Benson: Lower your voice, Poe. This is a church not a street corner.
Oliver Poe: Don't look down your nose at me you pompous, pious, prick. If I had known she was your daughter we wouldn't be standing here in two rented mummy suits waiting to sacrifice two nice kids on the alter of same ancient fertility rite.
--Jackie Gleason (as Oliver Poe) in How to Commit Marriage
Oliver Poe: But not deep enough. I have a horrible feeling we've met before. Does 7719 Hillside Drive mean anything to you?
Frank Benson: Isn't that a three bedroom, hillside colonial with patio, wet bar, and over-sized bay window? Nothing personal.
Oliver Poe: Tee-hee. You forgot to mention the hill in the back and the guaranteed retaining wall.
Frank Benson: Yeah, well... I sell so many, I forget the details.
Oliver Poe: Twenty thousand tons of mud in a swimming isn't exactly a detail!
[grabs Benson's arm]
Oliver Poe: The house was on a hill until it rained then the hill was on the house.
[shouts]
Oliver Poe: That was twenty years ago and they're still digging to find the backyard.
Frank Benson: Lower your voice, Poe. This is a church not a street corner.
Oliver Poe: Don't look down your nose at me you pompous, pious, prick. If I had known she was your daughter we wouldn't be standing here in two rented mummy suits waiting to sacrifice two nice kids on the alter of same ancient fertility rite.
--Jackie Gleason (as Oliver Poe) in How to Commit Marriage
[Alternate ending: A young boxer, with his manager, presents himself to Maish, as "Mountain" Rivera heads into the wrestling ring]
Maish Rennick: You wanna fight. You fool. You damn stupid fool. Don't you understand? Can't you get it into your silly head? There are only eight champions in this business. Everybody else is an also-ran. The good's great, but the bad stinks! Don't you understand? The odds are all you'll wind up a mumbling idiot! A STUTTERING JERK! WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME! GO HOME!
--Jackie Gleason (as Maish Rennick) in Requiem for a Heavyweight
Maish Rennick: You wanna fight. You fool. You damn stupid fool. Don't you understand? Can't you get it into your silly head? There are only eight champions in this business. Everybody else is an also-ran. The good's great, but the bad stinks! Don't you understand? The odds are all you'll wind up a mumbling idiot! A STUTTERING JERK! WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME! GO HOME!
--Jackie Gleason (as Maish Rennick) in Requiem for a Heavyweight
Fast Eddie:
Fats, let's you and me shoot a game of straight pool.
Minnesota Fats: Hundred dollars?
Fast Eddie: Well, you shoot big time pool, Fats. I mean, that's what everybody says: you shoot big time pool. Let's make it $200 a game.
Minnesota Fats: Now I know why they call you Fast Eddie.
--Jackie Gleason (as Minnesota Fats) in The Hustler
Minnesota Fats: Hundred dollars?
Fast Eddie: Well, you shoot big time pool, Fats. I mean, that's what everybody says: you shoot big time pool. Let's make it $200 a game.
Minnesota Fats: Now I know why they call you Fast Eddie.
--Jackie Gleason (as Minnesota Fats) in The Hustler
Fast Eddie:
Fats, you can't run out on me!
Minnesota Fats: You watch me.
--Jackie Gleason (as Minnesota Fats) in The Hustler
Minnesota Fats: You watch me.
--Jackie Gleason (as Minnesota Fats) in The Hustler
Fast Eddie:
Fat man, you shoot a great game of pool.
Minnesota Fats: So do you, Fast Eddie.
--Jackie Gleason (as Minnesota Fats) in The Hustler
Minnesota Fats: So do you, Fast Eddie.
--Jackie Gleason (as Minnesota Fats) in The Hustler