Francine Diamond: There ain't no flies on me!
J. Daniel Thompson: You can't blame the flies, Francine.


--Frank Morgan (as ) in The Wild Man of Borneo

Dimples: I love you, Professor.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: And I'm going to make myself worthy of that love.


--Frank Morgan (as Prof. Eustace Appleby) in Dimples

Maizie: You'll never know what my face looked like before your preparation.
Jesse Kiffmeyer: [Dryly] I can imagine.


--Frank Morgan (as ) in Saratoga

Allen Drew: You've done an excellent job.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: Yes, and know I'll need ninety-five dollars for advertising.
Allen Drew: As long as you're paying the bills, I think it'd save time if you handled all the money.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: Oh.
Allen Drew: Here it is, about eight hundred dollars. It's all the cash I have left and just enough to finance the rest of the production.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: Uh, all right. You, uh, trust me with all this?
Allen Drew: Yes, of course.
Prof. Eustace Appleby: Well, thank you very much, Allen, for your faith in me. I'll, uh, handle this money just as though it were my own.


--Frank Morgan (as Prof. Eustace Appleby) in Dimples

Brian McCoy: Why, Tommy's right has the kick of a Missouri mule, the speed of a striking cobra, and the aim of William Tell.


--Frank Morgan (as ) in The Crowd Roars

Col. Geraldine: I'll take my auntie's plum pudding. I can have it waxed after the dog is acquitted.


--Frank Morgan (as ) in Trouble for Two

Jesse Kiffmeyer: [to Maizie about her use of his cold cream] From now on, Madam, your face is in your own hands!


--Frank Morgan (as ) in Saratoga

Judge Cotton: [to Elizabeth about Candy] You were going to change him, you said. You haven't changed him. He's changed you!


--Frank Morgan (as ) in Honky Tonk

Judge Cotton: Yes, I may be a retired judge, but I'm a practicing drunkard.


--Frank Morgan (as ) in Honky Tonk

Konrad: I can use one honest lawyer, but don't overdo it.


--Frank Morgan (as Konrad) in The Good Fairy