Phil Davis: That's very funny. Ho, ho, ho. The crooner is now becoming the comic.


--Danny Kaye (as Phil Davis) in White Christmas

Phil Davis: We like to take care of our friends.
Betty Haynes: But we're practically strangers!
Phil Davis: Uh, we like to take care of that too.
Betty Haynes: But I don't understand. Why are you doing this? I mean, what's in it for you?
Phil Davis: Forty-five minutes all to myself.


--Danny Kaye (as Phil Davis) in White Christmas

Professor Hobart Frisbee: [to Miss Bragg, after she has summoned a cab for Honey Swanson] It's all yours, Crabapple Annie!


--Danny Kaye (as Professor Hobart Frisbee) in A Song Is Born

Walter Mitty: [singing while daydreaming that he's Anatole of Paris] And why do I sew each new chapeau with a style they must look positively grim in?/Strictly between us, entrez-nous, I hate women.
[giggles]


--Danny Kaye (as Walter Mitty) in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Walter Mitty: Here I am, lard face.


--Danny Kaye (as Walter Mitty) in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Walter Mitty: Your small minds are musclebound with suspicion. That's because the only exercise you ever get is jumping to conclusions.


--Danny Kaye (as Walter Mitty) in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Betty Haynes: Mr. Bones? Mr. Bones? How do you feel, Mr. Bones?
Phil Davis: Rattlin'!
Betty Haynes: Mr. Bones feels rattlin'. Ha ha. That's a good one. Tell a little story, Mr. Bones.
Bob Wallace: A funny little story, Mr. Bones!
Phil Davis: How do you stop an angry dog from biting you on Monday?
Betty Haynes: That joke is old. The answer is to kill the dog on Sunday!
Phil Davis: That's not how you stop a dog from biting you on Monday!
Betty Haynes: How do you bring a thing about?
Phil Davis: Have the doggy's teeth pulled out!
Betty Haynes: Oh, Mr. Bones, that's terrible!
Phil Davis: Uh-huh.
Betty Haynes, Bob Wallace: Yes, Mr. Bones, that's terrible!
Phil Davis: Uh-huh.


--Danny Kaye (as Phil Davis) in White Christmas

Judy Haynes: [about Betty] I've got a flash for you: she's a real slow mover.
Phil Davis: I've got a flash right back for you: she's in there with the champ.


--Danny Kaye (as Phil Davis) in White Christmas

Judy Haynes: [about Betty] Yesterday, she couldn't sleep. Today, she won't eat. She's in love.
Phil Davis: Well if that's love, somebody goofed.


--Danny Kaye (as Phil Davis) in White Christmas

Judy Haynes: [after creating her phony engagement with Phil] Don't you think we ought to kiss or something?
Phil Davis: [Obviously nervous] Not until it's absolutely necessary.


--Danny Kaye (as Phil Davis) in White Christmas