S.Z. Matts: How come you're in that cage protected, and I'm out here getting bumbed off?
Cappy: Sanctuary.
Julie: Sanctuary?
Cappy: Yeah, sanctuary from them. These beach kids. I had to build this thing to protect myself. I used to have a beautiful Cappy's place even more beautiful than this. And just last year, these beach kids completely demolished it and pretty near demolished me with it during a rumble all because of a stranger like you. Hey, you're not another one of those anthropologist explorers or something? A sex maniac maybe?
S.Z. Matts: I don't have any hobbies.


--Buddy Hackett (as ) in Muscle Beach Party

Tennessee Steinmetz: [holding a pot full of coffee while using a welding iron to fire it up, and wearing big gloves] The trick is always remember to have asbestos gloves when you make coffee this way.


--Buddy Hackett (as Tennessee Steinmetz) in The Love Bug

Tennessee Steinmetz: [Thorndyke's car blares by, with a bear sitting in Havershaw's place in the passenger seat] Who's the guy in the fur-coat?


--Buddy Hackett (as Tennessee Steinmetz) in The Love Bug

Tennessee Steinmetz: It's a matter of talking their language. You have a little feel for tradition and some courtesy, you'd be surprised, you can unscrew the inscrutable.


--Buddy Hackett (as Tennessee Steinmetz) in The Love Bug

Tennessee Steinmetz: Jim, it's happening right under our noses and we can't see it. We take machines and we stuff 'em with information until they're smarter than we are. Take a car. Most guys spread more love and time and money on their car in a week than they do on their wife and kids in a year. Pretty soon, you know what? The machine starts to think it *is* somebody.


--Buddy Hackett (as Tennessee Steinmetz) in The Love Bug

Ding Bell: Hey. It's that hokey dentist.
Benjy Benjamin: Yeah.
Ding Bell: Pass that cab.
Second cab driver: What's the rush?
Ding Bell: What do you mean rush?
Benjy Benjamin: We ain't in any rush, we just wanna get there in a hurry.


--Buddy Hackett (as Benjy Benjamin) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

Ding Bell: You see our grandmother lives in Rosita Beach, see, and she's dying and she kinda like to have us be with her when she goes.
Benjy Benjamin: Otherwise she won't go.
[Bell bumps him]
Benjy Benjamin: Uh, she'll go!


--Buddy Hackett (as Benjy Benjamin) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

Lennie Pike: It's buried under a big W. Say, what is a big W?
Ding Bell: When we find out, we'll send you a 'Wire'.
Benjy Benjamin: Ha ha ha ha ha ha.


--Buddy Hackett (as Benjy Benjamin) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

[Benjy is trying to fly an airplane]
Benjy Benjamin: Dingy, don't let this worry you- *We're gonna get killed*!


--Buddy Hackett (as Benjy Benjamin) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

[Tenessee's car is gone]
Jim Douglas: Where's the beast? You didn't cut up the Edsel!
[the Edsel grill is hanging on a rack with many cut up car parts]
Tennessee Steinmetz: Came over me all of a sudden. Seemed like the only decent thing do. Believe me, Jim, it'll be happier up there.
[Jim suddenly bursts into laughter]


--Buddy Hackett (as Tennessee Steinmetz) in The Love Bug