Chester Wooley:
We stop the stage, the bandits are waiting for the stage, and then you show up instead of the stage.
Duke Egan: That's pretty well-staged.
--Bud Abbott (as Duke Egan) in The Wistful Widow of Wagon Gap
Duke Egan: That's pretty well-staged.
--Bud Abbott (as Duke Egan) in The Wistful Widow of Wagon Gap
Freddie Phillips:
Who's the culprit?
Casey Edwards: The culprit and the murderer are the same!
--Bud Abbott (as Casey Edwards) in Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff
Casey Edwards: The culprit and the murderer are the same!
--Bud Abbott (as Casey Edwards) in Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff
Herbie Brown:
What time is it?
Slicker Smith: None of your business!
[completely ad-libbed during the drill routine. Abbott didn't know it was coming but delivered his response flawlessly]
--Bud Abbott (as Slicker Smith) in Buck Privates
Slicker Smith: None of your business!
[completely ad-libbed during the drill routine. Abbott didn't know it was coming but delivered his response flawlessly]
--Bud Abbott (as Slicker Smith) in Buck Privates
Jack:
[about the Princess] We gotta save her.
Mr. Dinkelpuss: You're right.
Jack: There's the castle. Let's go.
Mr. Dinkelpuss: Come on. What am I doing? Go ahead.
--Bud Abbott (as Mr. Dinkel / Mr. Dinkelpuss) in Jack and the Beanstalk
Mr. Dinkelpuss: You're right.
Jack: There's the castle. Let's go.
Mr. Dinkelpuss: Come on. What am I doing? Go ahead.
--Bud Abbott (as Mr. Dinkel / Mr. Dinkelpuss) in Jack and the Beanstalk
Lou Francis:
[about graduating] This is the happiest day of my life, how did I ever graduate?
Bud Alexander: [whispering] I slipped the guy twenty bucks. Now keep quiet.
--Bud Abbott (as Bud Alexander) in Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man
Bud Alexander: [whispering] I slipped the guy twenty bucks. Now keep quiet.
--Bud Abbott (as Bud Alexander) in Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man
Stanley Livington:
Listen boss, I'm not going along. You've got no right to put me in a thing like that. You're always putting me right in the middle
Buzz Johnson: Don't tell me that. Don't you give me that. No arguments.
--Bud Abbott (as Buzz Johnson) in Africa Screams
Buzz Johnson: Don't tell me that. Don't you give me that. No arguments.
--Bud Abbott (as Buzz Johnson) in Africa Screams
Wilbur Grey:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Wilbur Grey: Who screamed?
Chick Young: You did.
Chick Young: [amused] I did?
--Bud Abbott (as Chick Young) in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein
Wilbur Grey: Who screamed?
Chick Young: You did.
Chick Young: [amused] I did?
--Bud Abbott (as Chick Young) in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein
Wilbur Grey:
Oh, boy! I'm floatin' on a cloud of love!
Chick Young: Listen, you little blimp! I'll let the air out of you in a minute if you don't give me a hand -
[slams a bag into Wilbur's head]
Chick Young: - ya understand that?
Wilbur Grey: Thank You.
Chick Young: Boy, is this kid lost!
--Bud Abbott (as Chick Young) in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein
Chick Young: Listen, you little blimp! I'll let the air out of you in a minute if you don't give me a hand -
[slams a bag into Wilbur's head]
Chick Young: - ya understand that?
Wilbur Grey: Thank You.
Chick Young: Boy, is this kid lost!
--Bud Abbott (as Chick Young) in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein
Prince Ramo:
[from inside his jail cell] Don't worry! I'll get you out!
Peter Johnson: [being locked up in a nearby cell] Who's gonna get YOU out?
--Bud Abbott (as Peter Johnson) in Lost in a Harem
Peter Johnson: [being locked up in a nearby cell] Who's gonna get YOU out?
--Bud Abbott (as Peter Johnson) in Lost in a Harem
Bill Gregory:
That's my car, hey Slick, who's racing my car?
Slicker Smith: I don't know, I'll ask Herbie... Herbie? Herbie can't drive!
--Bud Abbott (as Slicker Smith) in Buck Privates Come Home
Slicker Smith: I don't know, I'll ask Herbie... Herbie? Herbie can't drive!
--Bud Abbott (as Slicker Smith) in Buck Privates Come Home
