Dick Pepper: [Sound of his kids loudly playing can be heard in the background] Pipe down you kids, or I'll send the pack of you to boarding school!
Alice Pepper: It wouldn't hurt you to play with your kids once in a while.
Dick Pepper: [Indifferently] We have nothing in common. They bore me. Being a parent is just feeding the mouth that bites you.

Dick Pepper: Maybe it is best to come clean and tell her everything. Confession *is* good for the soul.
August 'Augie' Poole: Only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff!

Dick Pepper: You couldn't squeeze a thousand bucks out of me if you put me in a Waring mixer.
August 'Augie' Poole: Give me your check and date it ahead.
August 'Augie' Poole: If I gave you a check it would bounce from Westport to Port Arthur.

Dick Pepper: You know, there's nothing as smug as a monogamous man.

Dick Pepper: You're like that plant. You need more elbow room, more dirt. A bigger jardinière. You'll never be an artist because you're denying yourself the emotional soil your roots need. You're pot-bound!
August 'Augie' Poole: [Taken aback] "Pot-bound"? Why, you mixed up Luther Burbank! You just attacked me for being too normal! That's a perfect example of 'doublethink'!