August 'Augie' Poole:
What happened to that free spirit I married?
Isolde Poole: *You* happened to it!
Isolde Poole: *You* happened to it!
August 'Augie' Poole:
You know, Miss Novick, uh, it's hard to think of you as a man of science.
Estelle Novick: I run into that all the time.
August 'Augie' Poole: I'll bet.
Estelle Novick: Last year I was with a team of anthropologists, and we made a study of sexual patterns in New Guinea.
August 'Augie' Poole: Yeah, I guess there's a lot of that going on there, too.
Estelle Novick: I run into that all the time.
August 'Augie' Poole: I'll bet.
Estelle Novick: Last year I was with a team of anthropologists, and we made a study of sexual patterns in New Guinea.
August 'Augie' Poole: Yeah, I guess there's a lot of that going on there, too.
Isolde Poole:
[the Peppers have thrown a small anniversary party for Augie and Isolde] Darling, isn't it nice having neighbors like the Peppers?
August 'Augie' Poole: Oh, yeah, they bring such *useful* presents...
August 'Augie' Poole: [Holding up a bottle of cheap Champagne the Peppers have brought over] "Piper-Heidsieck: the Miller High Life of Champagne!"
August 'Augie' Poole: Oh, yeah, they bring such *useful* presents...
August 'Augie' Poole: [Holding up a bottle of cheap Champagne the Peppers have brought over] "Piper-Heidsieck: the Miller High Life of Champagne!"
Isolde Poole:
I bought a dress at Bonwits. A lovely watermelon shantung.
August 'Augie' Poole: Fine. Now you've got something fit to wear into Saks.
August 'Augie' Poole: Fine. Now you've got something fit to wear into Saks.
Alice Pepper:
[to her husband] You know, I miss the kids. I know camp's the best place for them, but I miss them terribly, don't you?
Dick Pepper: [Casually unconcerned] Not a damn bit!
Dick Pepper: [Casually unconcerned] Not a damn bit!
Estelle Novick:
How would you deal with a child who won't eat?
August 'Augie' Poole: Send him to bed without any supper.
Estelle Novick: And how would you compare the problem of raising children from one to five, with those from five to seven? Which do you think is the more important period?
August 'Augie' Poole: [Somewhat tipsy, he whistles to himself for a few seconds while pondering her question] Five to seven.
Estelle Novick: Why?
August 'Augie' Poole: 'Cause that's the cocktail hour!
[laughs at his attempt at humor, while Ms. Novick remains unimpressed]
August 'Augie' Poole: Send him to bed without any supper.
Estelle Novick: And how would you compare the problem of raising children from one to five, with those from five to seven? Which do you think is the more important period?
August 'Augie' Poole: [Somewhat tipsy, he whistles to himself for a few seconds while pondering her question] Five to seven.
Estelle Novick: Why?
August 'Augie' Poole: 'Cause that's the cocktail hour!
[laughs at his attempt at humor, while Ms. Novick remains unimpressed]
Estelle Novick:
I find most people drink to escape from something. What do you drink to escape from, Mr. Poole?
August 'Augie' Poole: [Making silly face at her] The ravages of alcohol!
August 'Augie' Poole: [Making silly face at her] The ravages of alcohol!
Estelle Novick:
What school did you go to, Mr. Poole?
August 'Augie' Poole: Oh, I never went past high school.
Estelle Novick: How did you get along there?
August 'Augie' Poole: Terrible. Everybody hated me because I was so popular.
August 'Augie' Poole: Oh, I never went past high school.
Estelle Novick: How did you get along there?
August 'Augie' Poole: Terrible. Everybody hated me because I was so popular.
Dick Pepper:
[Expressing indignation over the fact that adoption agencies conduct background checks on prospective parents and their co-signers] Investigated? You mean they might be sneaking behind our backs without our knowing it?
August 'Augie' Poole: Sure. They'll assign a caseworker to us. A woman with her hair spun back in a bun, and a mouth like a mail slot. Typical 'American Gothic.' And leave us ask ourselves, what virtues she'll expect to find in the prospective parents and, uh, their co-signers. First, uh, stability, then solvency, next, uh, sobriety... and finally... chastity.
[Dick starts to look very uncomfortable upon hearing this]
August 'Augie' Poole: Sure. They'll assign a caseworker to us. A woman with her hair spun back in a bun, and a mouth like a mail slot. Typical 'American Gothic.' And leave us ask ourselves, what virtues she'll expect to find in the prospective parents and, uh, their co-signers. First, uh, stability, then solvency, next, uh, sobriety... and finally... chastity.
[Dick starts to look very uncomfortable upon hearing this]
Dick Pepper:
[Referring to his latest extramarital love interest] Ah, what a lovely thing. Just to look at her sends the blood coursing through my veins!
August 'Augie' Poole: [Cynically] In contrast to the *usual* route it takes...
August 'Augie' Poole: [Cynically] In contrast to the *usual* route it takes...
