Kenneth Mars
(as Franz Liebkind)
Kenneth Mars
(as Franz Liebkind)
Franz Liebkind:
[runs backstage to try to stop the play]
Stagehand: Hey, what can I do for you?
Franz Liebkind: You will please be unconscious.
[hits him on the head]
Stagehand: Hey, what can I do for you?
Franz Liebkind: You will please be unconscious.
[hits him on the head]
Kenneth Mars
(as Franz Liebkind)
Franz Liebkind:
Baby! Baby!... Why does he say this "baby"? The Führer has never said "baby". I did not write, "baby". What is it with this, "baby"?
Kenneth Mars
(as Franz Liebkind)
Kenneth Mars
(as Franz Liebkind)
Franz Liebkind:
Gentlemen. Ve have here a technical problem. Hmm? I do not know if vat ve have here is ze quick burning fuse or ze slow buring fuse. Ja, ja, I must find zis out.
[snips dynamite fuse]
Franz Liebkind: Zis is critical.
[lights fuse with match]
Franz Liebkind: Ha ha ha, ja ja, you see zis? You see zis here vat I have told you? Yeah, zis is an example of smartness here. I have said that zis is ze quick fuse. Huh? And zis IS ze quick fuse.
[pause]
All: THE QUICK FUSE!
[explosion]
[snips dynamite fuse]
Franz Liebkind: Zis is critical.
[lights fuse with match]
Franz Liebkind: Ha ha ha, ja ja, you see zis? You see zis here vat I have told you? Yeah, zis is an example of smartness here. I have said that zis is ze quick fuse. Huh? And zis IS ze quick fuse.
[pause]
All: THE QUICK FUSE!
[explosion]
Kenneth Mars
(as Franz Liebkind)
Franz Liebkind:
Hitler... there was a painter! He could paint an entire apartment in ONE afternoon! TWO coats!
Kenneth Mars
(as Franz Liebkind)
William Hickey
(as The Drunk)
The landlord:
He who signs a lease must pay rent. That's the law.
Max Bialystock: You miserable wretch! How dare you take the last penny out of a poor man's pocket?
The landlord: I have to. I'm a landlord.
Max Bialystock: [to God] Oh, Lord, hear my plea; destroy him! He maketh a blight on the land!
The landlord: [also to God] Don't listen to him; he's crazy.
Max Bialystock: You miserable wretch! How dare you take the last penny out of a poor man's pocket?
The landlord: I have to. I'm a landlord.
Max Bialystock: [to God] Oh, Lord, hear my plea; destroy him! He maketh a blight on the land!
The landlord: [also to God] Don't listen to him; he's crazy.
Zero Mostel
(as Max Bialystock)
Max Bialystock:
[on "Springtime For Hitler"] ... It's practically a love-letter to Hitler!
Leo Bloom: Wow. This play wouldn't run a NIGHT!
Max Bialystock: A night? Are you kidding? This play's guaranteed to close on PAGE FOUR!
Leo Bloom: Wow. This play wouldn't run a NIGHT!
Max Bialystock: A night? Are you kidding? This play's guaranteed to close on PAGE FOUR!
Zero Mostel
(as Max Bialystock)
