Dean Martin
(as Sam Hollis)
Peter Graves
(as Capt. Stimpson)
Capt. Rodney Stimpson:
Finish digging that grave, Sergeant.
Lt. Sibley: Sergeant? But Rodney...
Capt. Rodney Stimpson: What was that, Corporal?
Lt. Sibley: Sergeant? But Rodney...
Capt. Rodney Stimpson: What was that, Corporal?
Joey Bishop
(as Kronk)
Dean Martin
(as Sam Hollis)
Phoebe Ann Naylor:
Well, it's plain to see you're no gentleman!
[admiring Phoebe Ann's figure barely concealed by a wet blanket]
Sam Hollis: Well, it's plain to see you're not one, either.
[admiring Phoebe Ann's figure barely concealed by a wet blanket]
Sam Hollis: Well, it's plain to see you're not one, either.
Dean Martin
(as Sam Hollis)
Don Andrea Baldazar aka Baldy:
Ten paces.
Sam Hollis: Ten paces?
Don Andrea Baldazar aka Baldy: Why, that is customary. Do you wish to give the command to begin or shall I?
Sam Hollis: I don't know what you got in mind, Baldy, but I'm here for a shootout.
Don Andrea Baldazar aka Baldy: Precisely. You take ten steps that way; I take ten steps this way. Then we turn...
Sam Hollis: Turn? Step? I ain't here for no square dance! Now which end of town do you want to come from?
Sam Hollis: Ten paces?
Don Andrea Baldazar aka Baldy: Why, that is customary. Do you wish to give the command to begin or shall I?
Sam Hollis: I don't know what you got in mind, Baldy, but I'm here for a shootout.
Don Andrea Baldazar aka Baldy: Precisely. You take ten steps that way; I take ten steps this way. Then we turn...
Sam Hollis: Turn? Step? I ain't here for no square dance! Now which end of town do you want to come from?
Dean Martin
(as Sam Hollis)
Don Andrea Baldazar aka Baldy:
This is night. Are you going to sleep?
Sam Hollis: Well, it ain't healthy to travel through Comanche territory in the daytime, so we'll travel at night.
Don Andrea Baldazar aka Baldy: Oh, when we ride, the savage sleeps. Yes?
Sam Hollis: Yep. Them Comanches believe the moon is an evil spirit.
Sam Hollis: Well, it ain't healthy to travel through Comanche territory in the daytime, so we'll travel at night.
Don Andrea Baldazar aka Baldy: Oh, when we ride, the savage sleeps. Yes?
Sam Hollis: Yep. Them Comanches believe the moon is an evil spirit.
Dean Martin
(as Sam Hollis)
Don Andrea Baldazar aka Baldy:
You stand so; I stand so. And then...
Sam Hollis: Back to back? Now what kind of shootout is that?
Don Andrea Baldazar aka Baldy: Please Sam Hollis. I have dueled many times in Spain and I'm...
Sam Hollis: But this isn't Spain - it's Texas!
Don Andrea Baldazar aka Baldy: Even a simple duel you cannot perform in a civilized manner!
Sam Hollis: We have had civilized killings around here for years. I come from one end of town like this and you come from the other end... and you get the itch, you draw.
Sam Hollis: Back to back? Now what kind of shootout is that?
Don Andrea Baldazar aka Baldy: Please Sam Hollis. I have dueled many times in Spain and I'm...
Sam Hollis: But this isn't Spain - it's Texas!
Don Andrea Baldazar aka Baldy: Even a simple duel you cannot perform in a civilized manner!
Sam Hollis: We have had civilized killings around here for years. I come from one end of town like this and you come from the other end... and you get the itch, you draw.
Dean Martin
(as Sam Hollis)
[Baldy attempts to rescue an Indian girl from a rattlesnake wielding medicine man]
Sam Hollis: He either likes girls or he's crazy about snakes.
Sam Hollis: He either likes girls or he's crazy about snakes.
Joey Bishop
(as Kronk)
[during an Indian attack, the settlers run out of ammunition]
Kronk: Gun empty.
Sam Hollis: Yell, "Bang-bang."
Kronk: For Comanche need bullets, not jokes.
Kronk: Gun empty.
Sam Hollis: Yell, "Bang-bang."
Kronk: For Comanche need bullets, not jokes.
Peter Graves
(as Capt. Stimpson)
