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Rock Hudson

Rock Hudson
(as Jerry Webster)

Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: And as Dad always said, "A man who can't be bribed can't be trusted."
Jerry Webster: Isn't it comforting to know that you can trust me?

Tony Randall

Tony Randall
(as Peter 'Pete' Ramsey)

Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: Congratulate me, boy. I've saved the day! I've been working with my lawyers and we've come up with an ironclad document that will hold up in any court. This solves everything.
Jerry Webster: Great. What is it?
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: A full and complete confession. Sign.
Jerry Webster: Are you kidding? I could go to jail for five years.
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: No. That's covered in here. We make a deal with the judge. Two years. Sign.
[puts pen in Jerry's hand]
Jerry Webster: Forget it.
[throws pen]
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: Two years! It's like being drafted. Think of me as your commander in chief. Greetings from the president. Sign.
[puts pen back in Jerry's hand and tries to manipulate it to force a signature]
Hadley: I couldn't find Dr. Tyler anywhere. The guy has disappeared.
Jerry Webster: That tears it!
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: Hadley.
[opens window]
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: Step over to the window.
Hadley: Mr. Ramsey I told you. I am not going to jump!
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: You don't have to jump. I'll trip you. Huh? Double indemnity. Your wife will be loaded. Kids'll go to college. Right? Come on, boy! Run!
[holds up his leg in front of the window]
Jerry Webster: Pete, knock it off!
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: [to Jerry] You won't sign.
[to Hadley]
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: You won't jump. I'm surrounded by traitors.

Tony Randall

Tony Randall
(as Peter 'Pete' Ramsey)

Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: I told you sex would get you in nothing but trouble.

Jack Kruschen

Jack Kruschen
(as Doctor Linus Tyler)

Doctor Linus Tyler: At last, I've given the world what it needs! A good 10-cent drunk!

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