J. Algernon Hawthorne: You know I'm not entirely uncertain you haven't damaged this machine.

J. Russell Finch: Here,
[pulls a blue bicycle from the mess of furniture that fell out of Pike's van]
J. Russell Finch: take this and go hire us the best car you can find.
Lennie Pike: But... this is a little girl's bike. This is for a little girl. Oh listen, I got to get this stuff back in so I can lock up the van.
J. Russell Finch: We'll put everything away. Will you get going please, will you hurry?
Lennie Pike: Oh okay... I gotta admit. I feel kinda silly. You know what I mean?
[Pedals away on the bicycle]

J. Russell Finch: Hey, did you see th-the way he went SAILING right out there?

J. Russell Finch: I don't know, I must find my wife. I don't know what to do.
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Look, wherever they are, surely the most sensible thing for the two of us to do is to press on. I mean for all we know, your brother in-law may be out or away somewhere. And even if he were the first to be there, he still has to find the money, hasn't he? Now I earnestly recommend that we forget your good ladies and press on with all possible dispatch.
J. Russell Finch: [mockingly] Alright, we'll press on with all possible dispatch.
J. Algernon Hawthorne: And I don't really think that personal rancor is going to help the situation. If I may say so.

J. Russell Finch: Lets stop arguing please! The only reason were together is because they only had one car. So lets get there, even if we are last.
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Whatever the outcome of the day I shall never forget that you hit me when I wasn't even looking!
J. Russell Finch: [smiling] yeah.

J. Russell Finch: Now I give you my word. I wanted to stop you, he wanted to stop for you. But tell him, tell him how my mother in-law made us drive right by you...
Lennie Pike: Listen, anything you got to say about your mother in-law, you don't have to explain to me. You know what I mean? Like if she were the star of a real crummy horror movie, I'd believe it.

J. Russell Finch: You want me to tell you something? As far as I'm concerned the whole British race is practically finished. If it hadn't been for lend-lease. If we hadn't have kept your whole country afloat by giving you billions that you never even said "Thank you" for, the whole phony outfit would be sunk right under the Atlantic years ago.
[Hawthorne screeches to a stop]
J. Russell Finch: What are you stopping for?
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Get out of this machine.
J. Russell Finch: Get out? You can't...
J. Algernon Hawthorne: It's my machine, I will do as I bloody well please. Out!
J. Russell Finch: I'm awfully sorry. I've been very edgy today and if I said anything about England, I apologize.
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Glad to hear you say so.

Mrs. Marcus: [holding a planter containing several cactus] Well, where should I put this?
J. Russell Finch: [scoffing] Oh, boy.

Mrs. Marcus: [holding cactus plant] Where should I stick this?
J. Russell Finch: [double take] Oh boy.

Mrs. Marcus: [Referring to her son, Sylvester] Exactly like your father! A big stupid muscle-headed moron!