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Chico Marx

Chico Marx
(as Tony)

[Stuffy blows a balloon during a medical exam]
Dr. Hackenbush: If that's his adam's apple, he's got yellow fever.
Tony: He's got in-grown balloons.

Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx
(as Dr. Hackenbush)

[Stuffy has grabbed some poison to drink]
Dr. Hackenbush: Hey, don't drink that poison! That's $4.00 an ounce!

Chico Marx

Chico Marx
(as Tony)

[Stuffy is getting an examination]
Dr. Hackenbush: Say "ah!"
[Stuffy opens his mouth, but says nothing]
Dr. Hackenbush: Louder!
[Stuffy does the same thing]
Dr. Hackenbush: Louder!
[Stuffy does the same thing. Dr. Hackenbush starts to leave]
Tony: What are you doing?
Dr. Hackenbush: I'm going to get my ears checked. I'm deaf.
Tony: You're not deaf. It's just him.

Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx
(as Dr. Hackenbush)

[Taking a pulse]
Dr. Hackenbush: Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx
(as Dr. Hackenbush)

[Talking about Stuffy]
Tony: I think he's a ubangi.
Dr. Hackenbush: Well, I'll get a hammer and "ubangi" that right off.


Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx
(as Dr. Hackenbush)

[Tony is selling Hackenbush one book after another at the race track]
Tony: Well, justa by accident I think I gotta one right here.
Dr. Hackenbush: A lotta accidents around here for a quiet neighborhood.

Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx
(as Dr. Hackenbush)

[Tony offers Dr. Hackenbush a hint book]
Tony: One dollar and you'll remember me all your life.
Dr. Hackenbush: That's the most nauseating proposition I ever had.

Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx
(as Dr. Hackenbush)

Dr. Hackenbush: Ah -- I knew your mother very well. I'll let you in on a little secret. Many, many years ago in the dear, dim past, I proposed to your mother.
Judy: But that's my father!
Dr. Hackenbush: No wonder he turned me down.

Margaret Dumont

Margaret Dumont
(as Mrs. Upjohn)

Mrs. Upjohn: Hugo, I mean, Dr. Hackenbush, always insisted on treating me in my home. Why I didn't know there was a thing the matter with me until I met him.

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