Kevin Gilmartin Jr.: What's the - What's the matter?
Ned Merrill: I thought you were gonna dive!
Kevin Gilmartin Jr.: You thought I was gonna dive? There's no water in the pool!
Ned Merrill: Well... So long again.

Mrs. Hammar: Who gave you permission to use the pool?
Ned Merrill: I'm Ned Merrill.

Mrs. Hammar: You're not welcome here, Mister Merrill.
Ned Merrill: Well, you know me, don't you? I'm a friend of your son.
Mrs. Hammar: A friend. How dare you use that word. You never came to see him. You never even called him at the hospital.
Ned Merrill: Well how is he? Is he - better?
[Mrs. Hammar only glares in response]

Ned Merrill: [Climbing out of the pool at the Biswangers, suddenly noticing a colorfully decorated hot dog cart] Hey, wait a minute. This looks like my wagon. I'm sure this is my wagon.
Ned Merrill: [Inspects the wagon more closely] This IS my wagon! I wheeled my kids around in it. Ya' see that?
Ned Merrill: [Pointing to a spot] That's where Ella put her foot through and I mended it. With plywood... This is MY WAGON, man!

Ned Merrill: Here's to sugar on the strawberries!

Ned Merrill: How beautiful are thy feet in sandles, oh princess daughter.
[kisses Helen's feet]

Ned Merrill: Howie!
Howie Hunsacker: Hi, Mister Merrill.
Ned Merrill: Oh Howie, lend me fifty cents.
Lillian Hunsacker: Don't you do it, Howie.
Ned Merrill: Howie, for Christ's sake.
Howie Hunsacker: What's fifty cents, more or less? I mean - considering.
Ned Merrill: Thanks, Howie. Thanks a lot, chum. Thanks an *awful* lot.

Ned Merrill: I could do it. I could *really* do it.
Helen Westerhazy: Do what, Neddy?
Ned Merrill: Well now with the Grahams there's a string of pools that curves clear across the county to our house. Well look: the Grahams, the Lears, the Bunkers. Then over the ridge. Then a - portage through the Paston's riding ring to the - Hallorans and the Gilmartins. Then down Erewise Lane to the Biswangers, and then - Wait a minute, who's next? I can't think, I had it just a minute ago. Who is it? Well, who is it? Who's next to the Biswangers?
Helen Westerhazy: [softly] Shirley Abbott.
Ned Merrill: Shirley Abbott. And across Route 424 to the recreation center pool, and up the hill and I'm home. Well don't you see? I just figured it out. If I take a sort of a dogleg to the southwest... I can swim home.

Ned Merrill: I want my girls to be married in that house.
[Howard & Betty exchange confused glances]
Ned Merrill: Won't be long now. Our driveway looked like a parking lot today. Boys all over the place.

Ned Merrill: I'll call it the Lucinda River, after my wife.
Peggy Forsburgh: That's quite a tribute.