Gerry Jeffers: Anyway, men don't get smarter as they get older. They just lose their hair.

Gerry Jeffers: Don't you know that the greatest men in the world have told lies and let things be misunderstood if it was useful to them? Didn't you ever hear of a campaign promise?

Gerry Jeffers: Isn't it wonderful?
Tom Jeffers: Sensational. But you haven't quite answered my question yet.
Gerry Jeffers: What question, dear?
Tom Jeffers: Why this alleged old man gave you - how much is it?
Gerry Jeffers: Seven hundred dollars.
Tom Jeffers: Seven hundred dollars. Why?
Gerry Jeffers: No reason.
Tom Jeffers: Oh, is that so? He just - seven hundred dollars? Just like that?
Gerry Jeffers: Just like that.
Tom Jeffers: I mean, sex didn't even enter into it.
Tom Jeffers: Oh, but of course it did, darling. I don't think he'd have given it to me if I had hair like excelsior and little short legs like an alligator. Sex always has something to do with it, dear.
Tom Jeffers: I see.
Gerry Jeffers: From the time you're about so big and wondering why your girlfriends' fathers are getting so arch all of a sudden. Nothing wrong - just an overture to the opera that's coming.

Gerry Jeffers: You have no idea what a long-legged woman can do without doing anything.

Gerry Jeffers: You're married to me; that's like saying, you're *blind* to me. For a long time, I've been a part of you, just something to snuggle up to and keep you warm at night, like a blanket, but you can't *see* me any more than you can see the back of your neck.

Gerry Jeffers: You're not being rude, dear, you're just being yourself.

Tom Jeffers: Funny having to sleep with a sitting-room between us.
Gerry Jeffers: And the doors locked.
Tom Jeffers: You don't have to worry about that.

Tom Jeffers: So this fellow gave you the look?
Gerry Jeffers: At his age it was more of a blink.
Tom Jeffers: Seven hundred dollars! And sex didn't even enter into it, I suppose?
Gerry Jeffers: Sex always has something to do with it, dear.

Tom Jeffers: That's my wife, you dumb cluck!

Tom Jeffers: Why is your breath coming faster?
Gerry Jeffers: Because you're squeezing me!