William Demarest
(as Constable Edmund Kockenlocker)
Constable Kockenlocker:
[to his 14-year-old daughter, gruffly but jokingly] Listen, Zipper-puss! Some day they're just gonna find your hair ribbon and an axe someplace. Nothing else! The Mystery of Morgan's Creek!
William Demarest
(as Constable Edmund Kockenlocker)
William Demarest
(as Constable Edmund Kockenlocker)
Constable Kockenlocker:
The trouble with kids is they always figure they're smarter than their parents - never stop to think if their old man could get by for 50 years and feed 'em and clothe 'em - he maybe had something up here to get by with - things that seem like brain twisters to you might be very simple for him.
Diana Lynn
(as Emmy Kockenlocker)
Emmy:
[on taking out $900 from the bank in the middle of the night] It might be wrong but it would be very handy.
Diana Lynn
(as Emmy Kockenlocker)
William Demarest
(as Constable Edmund Kockenlocker)
Emmy:
That's not being very helpful.
Constable Kockenlocker: What do you want me to do? Learn to knit?
Constable Kockenlocker: What do you want me to do? Learn to knit?
Betty Hutton
(as Trudy Kockenlocker)
Norval Jones:
W-what was his first name?
Trudy Kockenlocker: You mean Ratzkywatzky?
Norval Jones: N-n-naturally.
Trudy Kockenlocker: Does he have to have a first name?
Norval Jones: Of course he has to have a first name. Everybody has a first name. Even dogs have first names, even if they don't have any last names.
Trudy Kockenlocker: Well, I don't know. I had an uncle named Roscoe.
Norval Jones: Roscoe, Roscoe, he eats them alive!
Trudy Kockenlocker: What?
Norval Jones: That - that's a snake eater's name.
Trudy Kockenlocker: Well, it was my uncle's name.
Norval Jones: Well, how about Hugo?
Trudy Kockenlocker: Oh, phooey!
Norval Jones: Well, how about Otis? That was...
Trudy Kockenlocker: Oh, phooey!
Norval Jones: That was my father's name.
Trudy Kockenlocker: Oh, I'm sorry.
Norval Jones: Well, it doesn't matter. You can call him Montmorency for all I care.
Trudy Kockenlocker: Oh, phooey!
Norval Jones: Well, what goes good with Ratzkywatzky?
Trudy Kockenlocker: Nothing!
Norval Jones: How about Ignatz?
Trudy Kockenlocker: Ignatz? You'd have to take a b-b-bicarbonite with that.
Norval Jones: Ignatz Ra-ra-ratzkywatzky. That - that fits alright.
Trudy Kockenlocker: Oh, phooey!
Trudy Kockenlocker: You mean Ratzkywatzky?
Norval Jones: N-n-naturally.
Trudy Kockenlocker: Does he have to have a first name?
Norval Jones: Of course he has to have a first name. Everybody has a first name. Even dogs have first names, even if they don't have any last names.
Trudy Kockenlocker: Well, I don't know. I had an uncle named Roscoe.
Norval Jones: Roscoe, Roscoe, he eats them alive!
Trudy Kockenlocker: What?
Norval Jones: That - that's a snake eater's name.
Trudy Kockenlocker: Well, it was my uncle's name.
Norval Jones: Well, how about Hugo?
Trudy Kockenlocker: Oh, phooey!
Norval Jones: Well, how about Otis? That was...
Trudy Kockenlocker: Oh, phooey!
Norval Jones: That was my father's name.
Trudy Kockenlocker: Oh, I'm sorry.
Norval Jones: Well, it doesn't matter. You can call him Montmorency for all I care.
Trudy Kockenlocker: Oh, phooey!
Norval Jones: Well, what goes good with Ratzkywatzky?
Trudy Kockenlocker: Nothing!
Norval Jones: How about Ignatz?
Trudy Kockenlocker: Ignatz? You'd have to take a b-b-bicarbonite with that.
Norval Jones: Ignatz Ra-ra-ratzkywatzky. That - that fits alright.
Trudy Kockenlocker: Oh, phooey!
Emory Parnell
(as Mr. Tuerck)
Mr. Tuerck:
Women are always trying to take the blame for men - it's what you call the mother instinct.