Dwight Wilson: [to Patricia] Say, baby, I'm for yuh. My face hasn't been so red since I went to my first burlesque show.


--Stuart Erwin (as ) in Before Dawn

Hank Parr: You got a mind like Einstein, boss.
James 'Jim' Branch: Thanks!
Hank Parr: I mean Mac Einstein, that runs the lunchroom down on Beesy Street.


--Stuart Erwin (as ) in After Office Hours

Jonny Sykes: [typing] Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of Jonny Sykes.


--Stuart Erwin (as ) in Viva Villa!

Oscar 'Chubby' Rudd: Two years ago you were so conservative, you buttoned your underwear up the sides; now when you go past, people think it's the fire department out on a picnic!


--Stuart Erwin (as ) in Absolute Quiet

Tommy Keenan: Do you mind if I drink that champagne? I've got to take a pill.
Joan Winfield: Do you feel poorly, Mr. Keenan?
Tommy Keenan: Not yet, but I expect to in 39 minutes.


--Stuart Erwin (as Tommy Keenan) in The Bride Came C.O.D.

Joy: Don't you ever have any fun?
Leo McTavish: Fun?
Joy: Uh-huh.
Leo McTavish: Well, uh, I've found really a splendid pasttime.
Leo McTavish: Ho-Ho. I mean, don't you know any girls?
Leo McTavish: Girls? My experience with dalliance has been nil.
Joy: Dalliance?
Leo McTavish: It means to dally around wantonly.
Joy: Oh! On account of you've been so busy?
Leo McTavish: Very busy.


--Stuart Erwin (as ) in Second Honeymoon