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Leon Askin

Leon Askin
(as Peripetchikoff)

Peripetchikoff: [trying to trade for Ingeborg] Would you take new automobile? 1961 Moskvich hardtop convertible, two-tone.
C.R. MacNamara: You mean that Russian hot rod parked outside?
Peripetchikoff: Is wonderful car. Is exact copy of 1937 Nash.

Leon Askin

Leon Askin
(as Peripetchikoff)

Peripetchikoff: Do you know what happens if I defect? They will line up my family and shoot them! My wife, my mother-in-law, my brother-in-law, my sister-in-law.
[pauses]
Peripetchikoff: Let's do it!

Leon Askin

Leon Askin
(as Peripetchikoff)

Peripetchikoff: Is old Russian proverb: you cannot milk cow with hands in pockets.

James Cagney

James Cagney
(as C.R. MacNamara)

Peripetchikoff: No formula, NO DEAL!
C.R. MacNamara: OK, NO DEAL!
Borodenko: We do not need you! If we want Coca-cola, we invent it ourselves!
C.R. MacNamara: Oh, yeah? In 1956 you flew a bottle of Coke to a secret laboratory in Sverdlosk. A dozen of your top chemists went nuts trying to analyze the ingredients. Right?
Mishkin: No comment!
C.R. MacNamara: And in 1958, you planted two undercover agents in Atlanta to steal the formula. And what happened? They both defected! And now they're successful businessmen in Florida packaging instant borscht. Right?
Peripetchikoff: No comment!
C.R. MacNamara: Last year you put out a cockamamie imitation "Kremlin-kola!" You tried it out in the satellite countries, but even the Albanians wouldn't drink it. They used it for SHEEP DIP! RIGHT?
Mishkin: No comment!
C.R. MacNamara: So either get down to business or get off the pot!

Leon Askin

Leon Askin
(as Peripetchikoff)

Peripetchikoff: We have emergency meeting with Swiss Trade Delegation. They send us twenty car-loads of cheese. Totally unacceptable... full of holes.


Leon Askin

Leon Askin
(as Peripetchikoff)

Peripetchikoff: Well, Comrades, what are we going to do? He's got it - we want it. Are we going to accept this blackmailing capitalist's deal?
Mishkin: Let's take a vote.
Peripetchikoff: I vote yes.
Mishkin: I vote yes.
Peripetchikoff: Two out of three. Deal is on!
Borodenko: Comrades, before you get in trouble, I must warn you, I am not really from Soft Drink Secretariat. I am undercover agent assigned to watch you.
Mishkin: In that case I vote no. Deal is off.
Borodenko: But I vote yes!
Peripetchikoff: Two out of three again! Deal is on!

James Cagney

James Cagney
(as C.R. MacNamara)

Peripetchikoff: While they are putting Uncle Sam in cuckoo clock, we will put Soviet cosmonaut on moon.
C.R. MacNamara: Okay, so you guys may be the first to shoot a man to the moon, but if he wants a Coke on the way, you'll have to come to us.

Arlene Francis

Arlene Francis
(as Phyllis MacNamara)

Phyllis MacNamara: Atlanta!
C.R. MacNamara: Yeah, I'm the new vice president in charge of bottle caps. They're kicking me upstairs.
Phyllis MacNamara: That's something I've always wanted to do myself.

Arlene Francis

Arlene Francis
(as Phyllis MacNamara)

Phyllis MacNamara: She married a communist? That's going to be the biggest thing to hit Atlanta since General Sherman threw that little barbecue. No, I don't think it's funny. They're going to live in Moscow? Now, that's funny!

James Cagney

James Cagney
(as C.R. MacNamara)

Phyllis MacNamara: Why can't you get yourself a nice permanent job with the home office in Atlanta?
C.R. MacNamara: Atlanta? You can't be serious! That's Siberia with mint juleps!

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