Richard Widmark

Richard Widmark
(as Johnny Kernan)

Johnny Kernan: Once they make you walk up an alley, you never use a front door again.

Charles Laughton

Charles Laughton
(as Soapy)

Soapy: It may interest to you to know, my good man, that I and the minutest coin of the realm are total strangers.
Waiter: How's that?
Soapy: I said I was broke!

Oscar Levant

Oscar Levant
(as Bill Peoria)

Sam 'Slick' Brown: [Being chased by a bear] We're going up a tree, William!
Bill Peoria: Can bears climb trees?
Sam 'Slick' Brown: Here he comes! We'll soon find out!
Sam 'Slick' Brown: [after shimmying up the tree] William, I think it's a cinnamon bear.
Bill Peoria: I don't care what flavor he is. He's more apt to taste me.

Fred Allen

Fred Allen
(as Sam 'Slick' Brown)

Sam 'Slick' Brown: An oil well is a hole in the ground surrounded by suckers.

Fred Allen

Fred Allen
(as Sam 'Slick' Brown)

Sam 'Slick' Brown: Pull yourself together, William! What's a confidence man without confidence?


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