Oscar Piper: I oughta be a detective in the movies.
Hildegarde Withers: You could do all the acting, and the author could solve the crime.


--Edna May Oliver (as Hildegarde Withers) in Murder on the Blackboard

Oscar Piper: I suggest using your head a little.
Hildegarde Withers: That'd be nice work for you, Oscar, if you could get it.


--Edna May Oliver (as ) in Murder on a Honeymoon

Oscar Piper: Little moments from the lives of great detectives - Hildegarde, ya get screwier every day.
Hildegarde Withers: Come all the way from New York just to be stupid in new surroundings?


--Edna May Oliver (as ) in Murder on a Honeymoon

Jimmy Sutton: What are you making, Phoebe?
Aunt Phoebe: Don't know yet... started making a doily, and it got away from me!


--Edna May Oliver (as ) in Second Fiddle

Marcia Townsend Warren: Tell them what you always do, darling, that what your grand-daughter does is none of their darn business.
Mrs. Fanny 'Grandma' Townsend: I haven't said "darn" in twenty years.


--Edna May Oliver (as ) in No More Ladies

Roger Wendling: This young lady wants to give you money to pay the rent on the hotel.
Sarah Wendling: Nonsense! So you've gone in for social service, have you?
Roger Wendling: Not exactly, Aunt Sarah, I just met an acquaintance.
Betsy Brown: There's almost five dollars in here, and I'm sure Pop will have the rest for you very soon.
Willoughby Wendling: Bless my soul!
Sarah Wendling: Keep your soul out of this. You will please get rid of this child.
Roger Wendling: But Aunt Sarah...
Sarah Wendling: If those people next door think they can play on my sympathy like this, they are greatly mistaken. I'll have my rent, all of it, or out they go.


--Edna May Oliver (as ) in Little Miss Broadway

Hildegarde Withers: Insulted at my age.
Bearded Diner: Better late than never, sister.
Hildegarde Withers: That will do.


--Edna May Oliver (as Hildegarde Withers) in Murder on the Blackboard

Miss Streeter: [addressing actors in her pageant by their character names] Stupidity? Go find Pleasure!


--Edna May Oliver (as ) in The Saturday Night Kid

Mrs. McKlennar: Your thoughts are your own property, Martin, but keep them to yourself.


--Edna May Oliver (as Mrs. McKlennar) in Drums Along the Mohawk

Sarah Wendling: Young lady, I've come here to tell you to let this nephew of mine alone. You let him pay your rent for you, didn't you?
Roger Wendling: Aunt Sarah!
Barbara Shea: I don't have to listen to this!
Roger Wendling: Aunt Sarah, that was uncalled for, unkind, and untrue!
Betsy Brown: Uncle Roger didn't give us any money! We got it from - from someone else.
Sarah Wendling: So it's Uncle Roger now, is it? Is Miss Shea your mother?
Betsy Brown: Practically.
Roger Wendling: Betsy is Mr. Shea's adopted child.
Sarah Wendling: Adopted, eh? So they brought her into this wholesome atmosphere, nice place for a child. Why, she's using her as a decoy, and you don't you have the sense to realize it!


--Edna May Oliver (as ) in Little Miss Broadway