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Marlon Brando

Marlon Brando
(as Grindl)

Grindl: Do not put your material shoes under holy water!
Candy Christian: What shall I do with them?
Grindl: Throw them into the material world!

Marlon Brando

Marlon Brando
(as Grindl)

Grindl: Lie Back! Lie Back! I must search your auora for your focal point.
[places hands on Candy's head]
Grindl: not there.
[places hands on Candy's Right breast]
Grindl: Not there either. hmm... maybe...
[places hands on Candy's left breast]
Grindl: No, not there either. hmm...
[Places hands on Candy's crotch]
Grindl: Ah ha! Here! And how alive it is!
Candy Christian: Oh no, it surely, could not be there. No, I'm certain it's not there!
Grindl: Trust me, who's the guru here?

Marlon Brando

Marlon Brando
(as Grindl)

Grindl: They say in my country that the centipede has a thousand legs but he cannot tapdance.
Candy Christian: I don't quite see the connection.
Grindl: Well, it loses a little something in translation.

Marlon Brando

Marlon Brando
(as Grindl)

Candy Christian: Gosh!
Grindl: Gosh isn't the half of it.

Charles Aznavour

Charles Aznavour
(as Hunchback juggler)

Hunchback juggler: Now, rubadubdub.


Richard Burton

Richard Burton
(as MacPhisto)

MacPhisto: I... am MacPhisto.
Candy Christian: Hello, I am Candy, Candy Christian.
MacPhisto: Candy... beautiful name, it has the spirit and the sound of the Old Testament.

Richard Burton

Richard Burton
(as MacPhisto)

MacPhisto: Oh for God's sake, Need can't be kept waiting. Need is here. Need... is now!

John Astin

John Astin
(as T.M. Christian / Jack Christian)

T.M. Christian: I know what the kids call me behind my back.
Candy Christian: The kids don't call you anything behind your back, daddy.
T.M. Christian: That's exactly what I mean. All the other teachers in this school have nicknames. I'm just plain old Mr. Christian.

John Astin

John Astin
(as T.M. Christian / Jack Christian)

T.M. Christian: Now look you people! This isn't some godforsaken border town where you can just, uh, go about as you please and, and bother innocent people and do... do... do... Mexican things!

James Coburn

James Coburn
(as Dr. A.B. Krankheit)

Dr. A.B. Krankheit: Good God, Harris, watch what you're doing! You're a brain surgeon, not a gynecologist!

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