Bernie Friedman: [at custody hearing] Well Judge, you can pass the buck up and down and back and forth, but when it gets to Bernie the butcher it don't go not further.
Judge: Is that what they call you? Bernie the butcher? Why?
Bernie Friedman: 37 years in the meat packing business, what're they gonna call me, Bernie the baker?

[about Penny]
Steve McCluskey: Can you tell me one cotton-pickin' thing you can do for that kid that I can't?
Chris Lockwood: Yeah! I can take her to the ladies' room!